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You notice too late
The sound of dogs barking
The heat in the air
The tension; the electricity

Too late you notice the boy
At the side of the road
Head bent forward
Wounds dripping onto the pavement

Now you are part of it
A sudden splatter of blood
You step away too late
A dark droplet hits your cheek

Now part of it, you are too late
A slow motion tumble of limbs
A fist across the space to your face
A rush of blood in your head

Silence, blackness, a stumble
The fighters forget their argument
Depart with a sudden change of heart
Strangers range around

An angel remembers himself
And calls for the ambulance
As the drip of your blood patters
From pavement, to kerb, to road

1.
The child
You choose to hide
Shy, scared of shadows
And easy to fear

2.
The adolescent
Now you explore
Test boundaries and borders
To find out the limits

3.
The bright young thing
You are arrogant
Full of the success you dream of
Wear shades on dull days

4.
Middle aged
Your technicolour cape crackles to black
You are burnt out
Worn thin

5.
The cynic
Now you twist tales
Into negativity, fill empty space
With hate

6.
The prophetess
Cassandra, we hear your predictions
They go unheaded, as things change
You have no control

7.
The goddess
You have aged, you are timeless
At the centre, the shift in your power
Makes you smile

She rolls her tongue in gold
Turns her kisses to stone
She wants to have, to hold
To this moment alone

She fears amnesia
The loss of memory
Feels an old nostalgia
That might just set her free

She shakes away the thought
And flicks back into dreams
Eyes wide, her vision caught
Lost here, so it seems

Locked into remembrance
Spins silk webs of silver
As across skin serpents
Writhe, ecstasy, shivers

She is forever trapped
In his midnight kiss
Her eyes closed, her arms wrapped
She drinks in the bliss

Later, we cleared her rooms
Shook out heavy curtains
Looked through family heirlooms
Cleared the settled dust
We found forgotten sheets with stains
Something, blood or rust
Your heart burst
Because you thought the worst

Later, when you cried
It was as if you could not stop
A river of tears for all who died
Your sadness, your loss, just awful
When mother called I had to eavesdrop
Both thoughtless and fearful
I had to know what came next
The hidden meaning in that text

Later, when we wandered through
Her house and disturbed the tiny moths
I was certain then I knew
Yet if I had listened to your words
I might perhaps have understood your loss
Instead the words went unheard
And when again the sun set
It was without you, I regret

Three girls dancing in summer dresses
Under trees
Fat drops of thundered rain
Fall

A storm passes, comes to nothing
Rain rises
As steam from black tarmac, heated by
Sun

You are uncertain

Someone calls to the girls, calls
Them inside
They run to the voice, catch sight
Laugh

A sudden return of storm clouds
From nowhere
Deluge, torrents of warmed summer rainfall
Pure

Once inside you are sure

The dust in the air
of the unused room catches the sunlight.
We wait for the strangers to leave.

You are tired.
You say to me the same as before:
something in what you say annoys

I am lost
in the impatience of all the things
and yet again you don’t listen

We should shine.
Reflect the glory of a summer sunset.
Instead we argue, fail to see anything, everything.

Life, the list of experiences
passes by. I am angry, you are bitter. 
A return to normal services

As anticipated;
we turn back, turn our backs.
Some form of hatred writes itself into this memory

Six is the number:

six weeks
between blood tests
when in the throes of toxicity.
Now things are calm
six months.

Three times six.
The first time; the time it took
from start to diagnosis
and recognition:
eighteen months.

Eighteen months
to treat the disease
bring it back under control.
A sort of normality after
eighteen months.

Six months
earlier my recognition
of the return of the symptoms.
Blood tests reveal it in
six months.

At twenty six I first met my enemy.
An anomolous ten years later
it greeted me again
neither stranger nor friend
just my travelling companion.

I am silent
When words should be said
I remain quiet

I am silent
What should be mentioned
Remains unspoken

I am silent
Why? I can’t say
Words remain unsaid

I am silent
Who should speak out?
We remain still

I am silent
Where are our voices?
Our silence remains

I am silent
How did this happen?
Hushed, we remain
Without words

That first summer when we met
When we ran through field on field
Sunshine lengthened days so we scarcely slept
And as we raced, neither of us would yield
But ran instead to win

That summer I remember well
Enchanted by a world I hardly knew
When first I fell into what was your spell
A pace I could not keep, a love that grew
And grew, nurtured, kept within

A summer when we saw such things
Once a rabbit caught by a roadside
The sadness that nature brings
It writhed in the throes of death, you lied
And said it would survive

Then another summer when we met again
When we found the time
Despite the cold, despite the rain
To cross wet pathways mired in slime
And still we had the drive

That second summer when we ran
Breathless, drained, you fought your fate
It never should have been you; stubborn
So out we went and returned
Exhausted, satisfied, you sought to stay alive

You aged me
Overnight
You made me
Careworn

Worn out
You took youth
And made me
Aged

When I woke
You’d
Changed me
Made me

Old
Lined, grey
Painted me
Out