He was prone to making promises
‘I will worship you with my body’
She was prone to agreeing:
‘I will do everything you ask me to’
That was their way to build a relationship
‘I expect you to love, honour and obey me’
‘My love for you will begin with my obedience to you’
So they placed all their energy into these promises.
‘I will remain with you in sickness and in health’
‘I will hide my sickness from you to maintain a healthy love’
On the one hand, he strong, powerful a leader:
‘I will care for you, win the bread and place it on the table’
On the other, she passive, compliant, co-operative.
‘I will take the bread that you win and make for you a feast’
After a while there was the one promise:
‘I will forsake all others’
That he began to regret making.
But in her love for him she said:
‘I love you enough to allow you to lay with others’
And so he took her promise and made it into a lifestyle.
She would watch him with eyes wide open:
‘I love him more than I can say’
And he would glance to her and say:
‘You are my object, my subject, my wife’
So they made for themselves a struggle, not a marriage.
And a third voice always persisted, tried to be heard.
Until he said:
‘I need to leave you’
Her reply was muted:
‘Take your things and go’
When he left he expected she’d disappear
Without his gaze
To define her
She would be
Invisible
But she began again.
Packed her things into boxes,
Sighed.
‘I shall be’
And drove away.
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